What is friendship?

Friendship is like the breeze,
You can't hold it,
Smell it,
Taste it,
Or know when it's coming,
But you can always feel it,
And you'll always know it's there,
It may come and then go,
But you can know it'll always be back

*How to make a woman happy*

It's not difficult to make a woman happy; a man only needs to be:

1.    a friend
2.    a companion
3.    a lover
4.    a brother
5.    a father
6.    a master
7.    a chef
8.    an electrician
9.    a carpenter
10.    a plumber
11.    a mechanic
12.    a decorator
13.    a stylist
14.    a  good mother
15.    a gynecologist
16.    a psychologist
17.    a pest exterminator
18.    a psychiatrist
19.    a healer
20.    a good listener
21.    an organizer
22.    a good father
23.    very clean
24.    sympathetic
25.    athletic
26.    warm
27.    attentive
28.    gallant
29.    intelligent
30.    funny
31.    creative
32.    tender
33.    strong
34.    understanding
35.    tolerant
36.    prudent
37.    ambitious
38.    capable
39.    courageous
40.    determined
41.    true
42.    dependable
43.    passionate
44.    compassionate
*
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:*

45.    give her compliments regularly
46.    love shopping
47.    be honest
48.    be very rich
49.    not stress her out
50.    not look at other girls
*
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:*

51.    give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52.    give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53.    give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
*
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: *

54.    Never to forget:
        * birthdays
        * anniversaries
        * arrangements she makes
*
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY*

1.    Bring beer
2.    Hand over the remote.

AMAZINGLY TRUE, ISN'T IT!

Men's transformation to Women

hahaha…. this is funny.

 

    

Scientists for Health Mexico recently suggested that men should take a

look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis

that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. 

    The inference had been that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then

observed that 100% of the men:

• Gained weight
• Talked excessively without making sense
• Became overly emotional
• Couldn't drive
• Failed to think rationally
• Argued over nothing

    All Scientists unanimously agreed that the Beer successfully converted 

men into women.

What is love? What is marriage?

The student asks a teacher: What is love?

The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turnback to pick.

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him,
this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person.

The student asked: What is marriage then?

The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he fee satisfied, and came back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get ....
this is marriage.

How do you know you love somebody?

For all you people who say "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly!!! something to ponder upon.....
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
It isn't love, it's like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
It isn't love, it's lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off??
It isn't love, it's luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there??
It isn't love, it's loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants??
It isn't love, it's loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??
It isn't love, it's low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them??
It isn't love, it's pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat??
It isn't love, its infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??
It isn't love, it's friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of??
It isn't love, it's a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??
It isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad??
Then it's love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong??
Then it's love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??
Then it's love.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there??
Then it's love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are??
Then it's love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
Then it's love.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?

This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?

The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.

Tips on relationships

 
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it   cheerfully. 
TWO.  Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational  skills will be as important as any other.  
THREE.  Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you
want.  
FOUR.  When you say, "I love you," mean it.  
FIVE.  When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.  
SIX.  Be engaged at least six months before you get married.  
SEVEN.  Believe in love at first sight.  
EIGHT.  Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams
don't have much.  
NINE.  Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
only way to live  life completely.  
TEN..  In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.  
ELEVEN.  Don't judge people by their relatives.  
TWELVE.  Talk slowly but think quickly.  
THIRTEEN.  When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,
smile and ask, "Why  do you want to know?"  
FOURTEEN.  Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.  
FIFTEEN.  Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.  
SIXTEEN.  When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 
SEVENTEEN.  Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and  responsibility for all your actions.  
EIGHTEEN.  Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.  
NINETEEN.  When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps
to correct   it.  
TWENTY.  Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your   voice.  
TWENTY-ONE.  Spend some time alone. 
 

21st Century living

Got this from an email. Most of them are true.

21 st Century...

Our communication - Wireless

Our dress - Topless

Our telephone - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our youth - Jobless

Our food - Fatless

Our labour - Effortless

Our conduct - Worthless

Our relation - Loveless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Valueless

Our follies - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our boss - Brainless

Our Job - Thankless

Our Salary - Very less

Would you remarry if I die?

 My wife asked me this question about 2 months ago. Check her blog http://michemaylee.liquidblade.com/?p=431

 

Well, I guess that most married man will face this question at least once in their life. I’ve survived but maybe not many men are blessed like me.

 

Here is what would normally happened during that conversation.

 

Question : What would you do if I died?

 

A definite no-win question. (The real answer of course is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat".)

 

No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up
questions, usually along these lines:

 

WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!

 

WOMAN: Why not? Don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.

 

WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.

 

WOMAN: You would? (with a hurt look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)

 

WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?

 

WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem the proper thing to do.

 

WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't. She's left-handed.

 

WOMAN: ...silence...
MAN: Shit!!