Saturday, December 30, 2006

they talked

M called MIL last nite, just to inform MIL that she is sending the children in the morning. **sigh of relief** Though still with wounded heart, she called. Thank God.

This morning she sent the children to MIL and during lunch she went to MIL house. Things will be back to normal slightly.

Mom is back, with the maid. Things will be different slightly.

Coca Cola and Mentos.

Received an email about Coca Cola and Mentos.

Not yet tested it myself. Will try it out later.

Healthy relationship

Came across this post at Thought I better post it in my blog so that I can easily find it when I need it.

My parents had a very good relationship,” I often hear my clients say.

“What do you mean by good?” I ask.“They didn’t fight. They spent a lot of time with each other.” That may have been the definition of a good relationship years ago, but now most people want more.

Following are ten signs of a healthy relationship.

Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.

Do you and your partner well up with warmth and fullness of heart for each other and express it with affection? Are you each able to see the beautiful essence within each other, rather than just the faults? Are you able to get beyond the outer to the unique inner Self of each other? Do you enjoy sharing affection? Warmth and affection are vital for a healthy relationship.

Can the two of you laugh and play together? Do you appreciate and enjoy each other’s sense of humor? In the midst of difficulties, can you help each other to lighten up with humor? Can you let down and be playful with each other, letting yourselves be like kids together? Laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.

Are you both each other’s favorite person to spend time with? Are you motivated to set aside time just to be together?Do both of you have friends and interests that you enjoy doing? Are both of you fine when you are not together?Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on each other. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, particularly emotional dependency.

All relationships have some conflict. It is not the conflict that is the issue, but how you deal with it. Do you have a method for resolving conflict, or do the issues just keep getting swept aside? If fighting is part of how you deal with conflict, do you fight fair, or are you hurtful when you fight?

If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, punishing your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection.

Do you each trust that the love is solid, even in very difficult times between you? Do you each know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other – and the love will still be there? Do you each know that the love is about who you are, not what you do? This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.

Do you each feel heard, understood and accepted? Can you share your secrets with your partner without fearing being judged? Are you each more interested in learning about yourselves and each other than you are in controlling each other? Is listening to each other with an open heart and a desire to understand more important than judging each other or defending yourselves?

Is your sexual relationship warm and caring? Can you be sexually spontaneous? Can you talk with each other about what brings pleasure to each of you?

Do you each feel free to be all that you are? Do you each feel supported in pursuing what brings you joy? Does your partner feel joy for your joy?While some people may naturally be open, kind, affectionate, accepting, and emotionally responsible for themselves, most people need to heal the fears and false beliefs they learned in their families. Healthy relationships evolve as each person evolves in his or her ability to be loving to themselves and each other.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Time does heal?

FIL came by this morning. Brought 2 pack of titbits for the 2 girls. I was carrying Barnabas, greeted him. He went to the front where the girls are. M was at the back preparing lunch. After playing a while with the 2 girls, FIL went to the back, to talk to M. As usual, there's reasons given on behalf of MIL for having uttered those hurtful words the other day. Heard M crying while saying, "... gua pun ada perasaan(I also have feelings).." They continued "talking" for a few more minutes before FIL left. *sigh*

It seems that they didn't get it in the right perspective. Why send FIL to pujuk M when MIL is the one who uttered the words. MIL must/should be the one who come and apologize/merujuk back to M. Don't send SIL or FIL because that's not the proper way. Wonder when they'll get it, wonder whether MIL will come to M to apologize. Now don't get the impression that MIL is a bad woman. No... she's one of the nicest woman that I've met and I'm glad that she is my MIL. But people do make mistakes and this is one of her mistakes.

As for me..... I'm just leaving it to M and her family to settle this matter. If things does not get better, then only will I come in. Just hope that they'll be able to settle it among themselves soon.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Can money do wonders?


SIL came this morning to talk to M. She had this "good" idea of helping M solve the problem that we faced. She already asked her boss (she's working in a kindergarten) about enrolling the two girls with a discounted fee. Besides that there are other things that she talked about.

After listening to M, I guess the main issue involved is the hurtful words said by MIL. And instead of focusing on that, they are focusing or trying to settle other things. Putting the bandage on healthy skin instead of on the wound. Furthermore, because MIL said that in front of M's cousin, who in turn told her mom, who in turn told her sister, who in turn called my SIL and scolded SIL for not taking good care of MIL, things get worse. Cousin's auntie also compare her children with MIL's children, saying that they didn't give any burden to their mother. Words.. words... words.... the tongue can give life and brings death. Words uttered in anger, in impatience, without careful thoughts brings chaos and hurts.

Maybe MIL, FIL, SILs think that M and I are rich and can afford to employ maid to look after MIL. Come on lah... business has been slow the past 2 weeks, plans have changed, and we are still moneyless as before. M's apartment has yet to be rented out (thanks to the tenant who moved out before the expiration of the tenancy) and she has to pay the monthly installment.

While crying and sadness in heart, M told me, "You know, sometimes Money can do wonders". Didn't say anything back to her. Totally agree with her.
What can I say.... yes dear, sometimes Money can do wonders. Everybody hope to have enough or more money. There's nothing wrong to have lots of money. The restriction given in the Bible is whether we live to serve Money or God.

Lord, sometimes we do hope that You'll bless us with more money so that others won't look down on us. But Lord, in any situation our hope and trust is still with You. Our hearts' desire is to serve You, O Lord.

M is now with the children. Holy Spirit, please comfort her and grant her God's perspective. May she draw strength from you O Lord.

MIL is tired

Received an sms from M asking me to call her. Call her and she is crying on the phone. In her sobbing she told me that her mom, MIL does not want to take care of the children anymore. MIL asked M to look for other baby-sitter to take care of Barnabas. It seems that Barnabas cried throughout the day wanting to be carried. And that cause MIL to be tired, tired physically carrying him, tired mentally & emotionally looking after the children. And MIL has been mentioning this a few times already. M asked me to look for a someone who can babysit the children. Wah... another "challenge" to face.

The first thing that came to my mind is that probably M's sister has been "hasuting" my MIL. Many times in the past, events occured when M's sister is around the house. Right now I am empty of patience with them. Really don't want to be involved in any matter (if possible) with them. Tried my best not to be there at MIL's house... be it for lunch or any matter. Sometimes... after many times you hear "negative" remarks made about you/family... you just got fed up... just don't want to be around these people. Well... hopefully that in this instance M's sister is not the cause.

M and the children came to the shop after that. She has not bathed, the children have not bathed either. And they have not eaten dinner too. Seems that she just took the children and went back without the usual having dinner at MIL's place. She reached the shop still crying. Annabelle noticed it and told me when she pushed the door. M is very soft-hearted. Many times she cried in the past because of hurtful words. Those from her sisters especially. I think that's why I don't really like to be involved with her family. I give up trying to defend them and rationalise their actions. It grieved me to see M getting hurt unnecessarily. Never pulak I heard about M's sisters got hurt by M's actions or words.

After a while, M calmed down, bathed the two girls and she herself took her bath at the shop's toilet. We talked and it seems that the best options is to look after the children ourself until the maid arrived. Will need to get permission from the other brothers and sisters to allow the maid to look after the children. Maybe we'll take care a portion of the maid's monthly salary. Hopefully they will agree to it. So for the time being, I'll look after the children in the morning and M will take half day in the afternoon for the rest of this week.

M had to go to Tesco to buy the food stuff for the children. Fed Barnabas milk and water. While sucking the water bottle he just fall asleep in my arms. So nice to see him falling asleep. He must be very tired. M didn't managed to buy the ingredients that she wanted because out of stock. Had to make do with other ingredients.

After M and the children went back, I received an sms from M's sister saying, "Nya is so sad now! keep on crying! she's so tired take care the three! if no them, she'll borring! i think u can take 1 mad to help her! then u can bring ur mad to clean ur house too! things can be settle! she's old! let her rest more!". Feels bad and sad for MIL but things will surely not be the same. If only MIL would talk nicely to M about the situation instead of letting out her frustration loudly... but things said can never be erased... it is said and people got hurt.

Lord... grant M and I the wisdom in this matter. May this matter brings the best attitude and character in M and I, that will glorify your name.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Mom picture

Mom looking much healthier. They cut her hair very short. Easy to keep .

Maid is coming

The maid that the family decided to employ is here... in Shah Alam with Mom. A Christian lady from Manado, first time working as a maid. So far from Bro Chuan's comments, she is okay. She is now in Malaysia under tourist visa. Bro Andrew will make the necessary arrangement to employ her as his maid but will be stationed with Mom at Bukit Rambai. That means Michelle and I will have the responsibility to supervise her also. Her name - Yulen. Most probably Mom and the maid will come back this Saturday, this year.

Christmas celebration

this year Christmas takes a new meaning. Not to be celebrated in church with Christians but with family members especially being with Mom. Went up to Shah Alam to Bro Chuan's place. The others brothers will also meet there. Reached there at 12.15noon, just about time for lunch - steamboat. Bro Chai arrived earlier. Bro Ann came at about 2pm while Bro Andrew came at 6.30pm. Nice to see Mom there. She seems and looks better, healthier than the last time I saw her in Selayang Hospital. Though she didn't walk much throughout the day, she talked and seems happy to see most of her children and grandchildren there.

Glad I made the decision to close the shop and travelled up to meet her. Evening time, the children had their gift-exchange and after dinner (which is also steamboat, plus spaghetti). The children enjoyed it very much. The parents too. Good to catch up with one another. Bro Ann, Chai, Luke showing off their cameras, while Bro Andrew with his videocam. By 9pm, we took family photos and thereafter travelled back home. Reached home at 11.05pm.

Next family gathering will most probably be during CNY.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

change of plans.

with the low income for the past 2 weeks, I have to change my plans to hire a worker. Can't afford to spend extra money. Looks like I'll be managing the shop all by myself for another month (at least). Praying that the coming month income will be more than sufficient so that there will be funds to employ one worker.

As for now.... let it be. Will see what happens when Giant opens. Already got 2 Malay guys asking about the vacancy but.... not sure whether they are able to do basic pc troubleshooting.
Newey.... will have to do things on my own for now.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

born in me

"If Jesus were born one thousand times in Bethlehem and not in me, then I would still be lost."- Corrie ten Boom

how true, how true.


Read the book of Ruth today. Wonderful story about loyalty and how God took care of people in need. Also its a story about commitment and compassion of one girl towards her mother-in-law. A girl willing to forgo possible good future with her own people to be with her mother-in-law who has nothing left but trials, sufferings and uncertainties.

This is also a good example of good relationship of mother and daughter-in-law. Nowadays we always hear about the conflicts between a girl and her MIL. Ruth and Naomi might have formed a deep and close relationship while Ruth is with her husband.

The story of Ruth is indeed a good story to be made into a film. Many good characters that can be portrayed through this story.

At the end of the story... it was acknowledge that Ruth was a woman of noble character and through her many great man came into history.

Oh ya... this is not just a story but real event that happened long time ago in Israel.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Streamyx service - lousy

I'm really frustrated with streamyx and their service. Applied another streamyx line about 2 weeks ago for my apartment. Until now.... after many calls, still no service. What the heck is happening over there I also don't know. My tenants are pressing me for it and everytime they call, I have to check again with streamyx. And you knowlah.... that the toll free number (I think its toll free) is like for you to listen to their excuses. The first thing you'll hear when you call streamyx 1300 88 9515 is the recorded message saying that there are problems with their service and they are trying to settle it. Come on .... don't tell me that the problems are there forever, and I'll be hearing the lame excuses everytime I call streamyx. Doesn't look good on TMNet. Then after the excuse, I'll have to wait for an average of 2 minutes (if I'm blessed) before my call was answered. Last week, the staff said that my streamyx line is activated and should be working. Today, the staff said that my streamyx line is still not activated and they are not sure whether my old streamyx line is still working? Cekik darah betul.

Oh ya... this morning I received a call from streamyx asking me to answer their survey. Only a few questions about their service and my suggestions on what/where/how to improve their service. Told them to fasten the processing of new applications and a few other things.

Wonder whether they will act upon the answers/suggestions given.
If only there are other cheaper broadband available in this place, I will surely definitely absolutely subscribe to it.

GIANT is opening

One staff from Giant Hypermarket came to use the internet. Asked him when Giant will start operation. He said 31st of December 2006 - "soft opening". And 1st January 2007 will be the "grand opening". Well, hope everything will be true.

Wonder whether there'll be more customers for me too. God willing.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

God can use you lah....

In the midst of reading the book of Judges... It's amazing to see who God uses to deliver Israel when they were oppressed by the nations surrounding them.

One of them is Jepthath... born of a slave girl. In today's world, this man would not be accepted as a leader because of his low caste/status/background. But God still used him.

What is my status or background? Definitely nothing much... but I know God can and want to use me.... if only I'm willing to be available and obey him.

Right now, I'm in a bus travelling through life until the time when God will drop me off somewhere... to continue my walk with Him.

Nice Bihun Goreng

Woke up this morning and instead of fried rice, M cooked for me fried beehun. Nice and tasty. Too bad it is still early 10am so I only ate a bit. Wanted to "tapau" to the shop for lunch but decided not to becoz I thought I'll be coming back when Allan come for his work shift. But he called and told me that he is not coming to work.... so I'm stuck here at the shop... thinking about the fried beehun.

Thank you dear for the beehun.

No more worker.

Allan called just now saying that the road to the shop are flooded and he can't get through. So he'll not come to work today... supposedly his last working day. So I'm here managing the shop alone... no worker. But good also lah coz the number of customers are much much less in the past one week (rain and flood). At least can cut cost.

If this situation persists, then I don't have the means/income to employ any worker. Means that I'll be back to my earlier status quo, managing the shop on my own... means that not much time at home with family... means that M will have to continue to take care of the children all by herself. God... grant us strength and good health. And may Your face shine upon us.

Flood in Melaka

For a long time I've not encountered any flood. now after a few days of continous rain, some parts of Melaka are submerged in water. Went back from work, passed by Malim... some parts of Malim are flooded, certain parts of the road are closed. Taman Merdeka too are flooded. Maybank Malim and amazingly Maybank Main at Jalan Hang Tuah are also flooded.
Received news that many more areas are flooded. Thank God that the rain stopped for a day though there are heavy clouds over the sky.

Many shoplots are flooded in Malim.... no business.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Rain rain go away

has been raining for the past 3 days continuously.... Thank God for giving rain. cool weather, windy until no need to switch on the airconditioners. but rainy days also means less customers.
some parts of Johor are flooded. The river behind the shop is overflowing.

rainy days also makes me lazy. i thinks I'm more of a reptilia than a mammal. Cold means less activity. prefer to hibernate. ok... must go back now and sleep.

Traffic summons

did I not mentioned that I kena saman on Sunday morning. after work at about 4am... drove back to BR. As usual, I normally don't stop at the traffic light junctions coz there's no cars and stopping at the traffic light waiting for the green lights seems so stupid. so as usual I just drive through lah.

then after a few minutes there's this police car passed by and I saw the policeman waved me asking me to stop my car. hahaha busted. So kena saman lah... lazy to appeal to him... its 4am and I'm sleepy. So saman lah.

Thank God, when reached home can sleep well.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

worker oh worker, where art thou

my part time worker will stop working this Christmas. need to find worker. Lord send one please.

Worker oh Worker... where art thou. If thou are searching elsewhere, come thou to Starhawk Internet Cafe. But are thou honest and realiable? Are thou a man/woman of thou word? If not... be gone thou and never ever dare to step into my domain.

Christmas celebration

Maybe this year Christmas will be in Shah Alam. Not sure yet what the other brothers and and sister wants to do this Christmas. Since Mom is in Shah Alam, maybe I'll go there to visit her.

Anyway, it'll be good for Mom to know that her children remembers her even during Christmas.

I'm older now

I celebrated my birthday peacefully... nice. Had a nice talk with my wife, mental and intelligent engagement. Sharing and listening to one another. Ahhh.... and also KFC for lunch. Long time no KFC so took the opportunity to go for it... ya ya ya....unhealthy... but it's finger licking good. of course I didn't lick my finger but to me its delicious.

How loving my wife trying to make my Bday a memorable one. Gave me a whole body massage. Next time must get a better body lotion, one that can "absorb" into your skin and not leaving a lotion feeling after the massage. Thankyou dear.

Then off to work...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


many things to write about but its all somewhere in my brain. only a few in my thoughts right now but all jumbled up. business, family, church, faith, holiness, money, etc etc.... many times I purposed to blog about certain things but just don't have the time to blog or just don't feel like typing. so now here I am... with my brains still not fully working 100%... I feel like mumbling about something.... something lah...

oh... family...... Michelle is great.... doing household chores everyday. Really respect her for her initiative to look after the house. But the volume of household chores is taking its toll. Will try and help her out more. Especially taking care of the children. Lord please bless the business so that I will have more time to be with the family. I know she's trying her best to do something special for my birthday and I thank God for that. All I want for my birthday is a quiet time and just be with her... talking and sharing our hearts and feelings. Miss those times where we talk and talk and just share from our hearts.

Barnabas is very very very manja... always want to be carried. Too manja I would say. If I jaga him... sure cry coz I don't carry him... put him down so that he can try to crawl... but no... he don't want to crawl but want to cry. haiyoooooooooo. no wonder Michelle is so stressed.

The two girls are also very manja, always want to be carried (Clarissa) and want to sleep besides their mummy. But its' nice to hold them, hug them and let them tell what happened to them.
Next week, I'll be doing daytime shift, so will have time to be with my family at night. Hope to be able to help Michelle with the children.

ahh... business.... have been slow this past one week.... don't know exactly why.... but I'm praying that God will send more customers. My guesses. The Vietnamese are working night shifts so they didn't come. Somemore, I heard that the companies are not giving overtime (business not good).... so they've no money to spend. The college students that frequents my cafe are on holidays for a month. Giant Hypermarket has yet to open. Rained for the past few days. Looks like I've to get a Malay as my permanent staff. They are willing to accept a low paying job. Pray that God will send a trustworthy, honest and diligent worker.

Relationship with God..... a new phase. Faith, trust, obedience, prayer, righteousness, earnestness, fervency, blessings, enlarge, taking hold, claiming, promises, inheritance, giving, .... all these words came to mind. Hope that in due time everything will fit in its proper place.
Haven't fully decided where to attend church on a regular basis. At least one important criteria is that church must have a proper mother's room and clean (for Michelle, Barnabas and Clarissa).

Mother... from the emails... she is getting better.. and she looks better (from the photos). Maybe she'll be back by end of this month, after Christmas. Will be having her check-up on 21,22 and 26 of this month. That also, provided that the maid comes in. Without the maid, Mother will not be staying at home, coz nobody to look after her.

The front house auntie (acheh Eng) have been taking things from the house. Stealing.... things like starfruits, sukun, kelapa, bunga telang, pisang... and maybe other stuffs that we are not aware of. As though lah that all the things at our house is hers. Somemore, don't even ask permission and at least inform/request lah... nothing.... silent... and we heard it from other people. ..... Need to put up the wire fence soon.

ok lah.. will stop here for now. Right now, there's no customers in the cafe. it's raining outside. sales very low today. will wait until 12midnight before closing. oh.. need to paint the cement also.

Thank you Lord. Love you too for being in control.